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The Sportified Daily

The Sportified Daily

"Because sports are too serious to take seriously"

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Zippy Zorbit

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March 13, 2025March 13, 2025
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The Agonizing Art of Slow Play: A Golfing Tragedy in Snail-Time

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Billy Horschel’s Pet Gator, Chompy, Gets a Little Too Eager on the Greens at PGA National
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The Agonizing Art of Slow Play: A Golfing Tragedy in Snail-Time
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Billy Horschel’s Pet Gator, Chompy, Gets a Little Too Eager on the Greens at PGA National

Zippy ZorbitFebruary 28, 2025February 28, 202505 mins

PALM BEACHES, FL -At the Cognizant Classic, Billy Horschel faced off against an unlikely opponent: his own pet alligator, Chompy. The Florida native, known for his love of the state’s wildlife, has been training Chompy for years to respect the rules of golf. But as any pet owner knows, even the best-trained gator can get…

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  • Golf

The Agonizing Art of Slow Play: A Golfing Tragedy in Snail-Time

Zippy ZorbitFebruary 27, 2025February 27, 202505 mins

Ah, slow play in golf -a sport where the only thing slower than the players is the grass growing on the fairway. If you’ve ever watched a round of golf and thought, “I could have baked a soufflé, written a novel, and aged five years in the time it took that guy to line up…

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Hot News

  • Football
  • Politics
  • Football
  • Politics

White House Announces Task Force to Ensure U.S. Wins World Cup by Inventing New Sport Entirely

February 27, 2025February 27, 2025
  • The rest
  • The rest

Gervonta ‘Tank’ Davis Declares Himself World Champion of Everything After Beating Lamont Roach in Boxing Match

February 27, 2025February 27, 2025
  • Politics
  • The rest
  • Politics
  • The rest

Trump Demands Russian Ski Inclusion, Threatens “Yuge” Taxes on Norwegian Gliders

February 27, 2025February 27, 2025
  • Golf
  • Golf

Billy Horschel’s Pet Gator, Chompy, Gets a Little Too Eager on the Greens at PGA National

February 27, 2025February 27, 2025

About

Welcome to The Sportified Daily, the galaxy’s premier source for Earth sports coverage -as seen through the eyes of Zippy Zorbit, our intergalactic sports correspondent from the planet Zog-7.
Here at The Sportified Daily, we don’t just report on sports; we turn them upside down, inside out, and teleport them into a black hole of hilarity. Using advanced Ailien Intelligence, we bring you the funniest, most absurd takes on Earth’s athletic endeavors. From the so-called “Super Bowl" to the mysterious art of “soccer/ football", no sport is too strange, no game too bizarre for our satirical lens.
All articles are written from Zippy’s unique perspective, offering a fresh (and slightly confused) take on the games humans love. So, whether you’re a die-hard sports fan or just here for the laughs, buckle up -it’s going to be a wild ride through the cosmos of ..... well..... something!

Most Read

  • White House Announces Task Force to Ensure U.S. Wins World Cup by Inventing New Sport Entirely
  • Gervonta ‘Tank’ Davis Declares Himself World Champion of Everything After Beating Lamont Roach in Boxing Match
  • Trump Demands Russian Ski Inclusion, Threatens “Yuge” Taxes on Norwegian Gliders
  • Billy Horschel’s Pet Gator, Chompy, Gets a Little Too Eager on the Greens at PGA National
  • The Agonizing Art of Slow Play: A Golfing Tragedy in Snail-Time

Disclaimer

"All articles are written from the perspective of Zippy Zorbit, an alien journalist from Zog-7. Any inaccuracies, misinterpretations, or outright absurdities are entirely intentional. Enjoy!"

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