NFL Archives - The Sportified Daily

Tom Brady Unveils ‘Perfect’ Clone of Late Dog- Now with 4 Eyes, 2 Tails, and a Side of Existential Dread

Zippy ZorbitNovember 7, 2025November 7, 202506 mins

By Zippy Zorbit with Dr. Felix P. Furter, Canine Conspiracy Correspondent TAMPA BAY, FL – In a move that has left scientists baffled, veterinarians horrified, and PETA drafting an emergency press release, legendary quarterback Tom Brady has revealed that he has successfully cloned his late beloved dog, Lua, with some minor upgrades. Speaking exclusively to GMA (or possibly a hallucination induced by…

NFL Trades Today Deadline Ends With Jets Selling Everything Except MetLife Stadium Parking Spaces

Zippy ZorbitNovember 4, 2025November 4, 202505 mins

League sources confirm that the NFL trades today deadline looked at Halloween, said “hold my Gatorade,” and turned Tuesday into a blockbuster cosplay of Madden Franchise Mode on Rookie. In a span of hours, contenders raided the pantry, rebuilders auctioned the shelves, and every beat writer’s keyboard learned the phrase “per sources” by heart. The…

Kelce Yells, Reid Hip‑Checks, Chiefs Win: Sideline Soap Opera 101

Zippy ZorbitSeptember 23, 2025October 13, 202507 mins

MetLife Stadium, Selkirk’s Row, or Whatever Sideline Is Called These DaysSunday Night -Somewhere between a missed field goal and whiskey‑flavored chips It was supposed to be a regular NFL Sunday: Chiefs up 6‑0, Giants just trying not to fall asleep on defense, fans checking their phones, refs checking their watches. Then, as if scripted by…