The day Anfield briefly became Heathrow and Manchester United landed all the flights Manchester United have discovered a revolutionary tactical concept: up. While Liverpool’s high press hunted passing lanes like truffle pigs, Ruben Amorim simply looked skyward, pointed, and Manchester United obliged by turning Anfield’s famous Kop end into a runway for long-haul deliveries. According…
Old Trafford Scientists Confirm: Club Now Exists in All Possible States of Managerial Crisis Simultaneously MANCHESTER – In a stunning development that has quantum physicists scratching their heads, Manchester United has officially entered what experts are calling a “Schrödinger’s Manager” state, where the club simultaneously has and doesn’t have a manager, needs and doesn’t need…
Yesterday’s clash between Everton and Manchester United at Goodison Park ended in a dramatic 2-2 draw, but the real headline wasn’t the scoreline -it was Ashley Young’s audition for Strictly Come Dancing. The veteran winger turned the penalty area into his personal stage, delivering a performance so theatrical it left fans, players, and even the…
In a surprising revelation that has left football fans scratching their heads and Googling furiously, Gary Neville has claimed that Manchester United have become “much worse” under the leadership of Rúben Amorim. The only problem? Amorim has never managed Manchester United. Or even been near Old Trafford. Or, for that matter, ever been linked to…
