By: Someone Who Clearly Doesn’t Understand Boxing but Loves Drama Gervonta “Tank” Davis has officially declared himself the World Champion of Everything after defeating Lamont Roach in a boxing match that lasted approximately 47 seconds longer than a TikTok dance trend. The fight, which took place in a Las Vegas arena so sparkly it could…
In a dramatic twist to the ongoing saga of Russia’s exclusion from the VM ski championships in Trondheim, U.S. President Donald Trump has entered the fray, demanding that Russian skiers be allowed to compete, or else. Known for his close friendship with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump has reportedly threatened to impose “yuge” taxes on…
PALM BEACHES, FL -At the Cognizant Classic, Billy Horschel faced off against an unlikely opponent: his own pet alligator, Chompy. The Florida native, known for his love of the state’s wildlife, has been training Chompy for years to respect the rules of golf. But as any pet owner knows, even the best-trained gator can get…
Ah, slow play in golf -a sport where the only thing slower than the players is the grass growing on the fairway. If you’ve ever watched a round of golf and thought, “I could have baked a soufflé, written a novel, and aged five years in the time it took that guy to line up…
José Mourinho has announced that he identifies as African American, thereby rendering all accusations of racism against him “biologically and culturally impossible.” The announcement comes after Galatasaray threatened to file a police complaint against the Fenerbahçe manager for alleged racist remarks during the heated Istanbul derby. Mourinho, known for his tactical genius and flair for…
Yesterday’s clash between Everton and Manchester United at Goodison Park ended in a dramatic 2-2 draw, but the real headline wasn’t the scoreline -it was Ashley Young’s audition for Strictly Come Dancing. The veteran winger turned the penalty area into his personal stage, delivering a performance so theatrical it left fans, players, and even the…
Boston, February 20, 2025 – No one saw this coming (except every hockey fan north of the 49th parallel), Canada’s ice warriors eked out a 3-2 overtime victory against the United States in the “4 Nations Face-Off” tournament last night. The game, held in Boston -a city that briefly forgot it wasn’t supposed to cheer…
In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except maybe everyone who’s been paying attention), a former Chelsea player has decided to drop the mic on his old club. The ex-Blue, who shall remain nameless because let’s be honest, we all know who it is, has labeled Chelsea’s current state as “a…
In a shocking turn of events that has left the tennis world reeling, Italian tennis sensation Jannik Sinner has accepted a three-month doping ban after reaching a settlement with the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA). The offense? Excessive consumption of espresso and gelato, which WADA has classified as “performance-enhancing Italian substances.” The controversy began when Sinner,…
